I do love my girlfriend and she loves me too, and at this precise moment in time we're very happy. So what's the problem? Why do I still have doubts?

I was single for four years and, although I was lonely and very ready to start a new relationship, I guess I got used to being by myself. I made plans assuming I'd never find someone - things like living abroad for a few years, going travelling again - that now will never be fulfilled. I learned to be happy(ish) being independent, looking after myself and not needing anyone. Its a habit I still find difficult to break, despite being with my lady for almost 8 months now. I don't want to become dependent on her or rely on her being around, because one day she might not be.

Its not just the vulnerability thing though. There are aspects of my single life that I really miss. Being able to do what I want when I want for a start, without having to check with my partner first. Being able to flirt outrageously for fun, getting drunk and talking crap, not worrying about who I talk to in my local lesbian pub - all things I can't really do now. And I know, you trade some things for others that are just as good when you get with a special someone. But I still miss them. I feel I have to be more restrained these days.

I know my girlfriend gave up a lot to be with me. She's never really been a relationship person before, and her old life consisted of drugs, drink and sleeping around for the most part. She flitted from job to job and cheated on all but one girlfriend she's had. She's settled down a lot since getting with me which I really appreciate, because I'm not like that. I'm responsible and put others before myself and really couldn't have coped with the stress of worrying what she was getting up to. Trouble is, I'm worried she misses that 'party' lifestyle she had and maybe one day will go back to it - that would pretty much be the end of us. She won't even put herself in an environment where she could start doing drugs or get so drunk she cheats. Not because it doesn't interest her anymore but because she doesn't trust herself not to go back to her old ways - she wouldn't have the will power. That makes me worry.

I guess I can't hold 'what ifs' against her forever, and she's proved how much she loves me so far. She's a more sensible, honest, loyal person these days. But I still can't shake this feeling of there being something missing. Shouldn't I know for definite if she's the one? I would never have pictured myself ending up with her. Maybe I got with her just because I was sick of being single. Maybe only having two relationships in my life makes me worry I'll want to 'sow my wild oats' later on. Maybe she'll hurt me & I'll have wasted this time.

I'm happy, but is that enough?